SACC Speaks #21: Farscape Undressed Transcript

This transcript provided by: Kalliope  Kalliope hails from Warsaw ( that'd be in Poland ). Kat is a non-english speaker engaging in the difficult and challenging enterprise of producing transcripts in english. I think she's doin' a fantantic job! Drop her an email and let her know how much you appreciate her efforts!
With contributions from: FarscapeAlly
Suggestions for corrections/revisions/expansions are, as always, gratefully accepted. Thanks to $al-Man for providing some edits to the transcript. Check out their website: http://www.geocities.com/johnskeedvabbq/Transcripts/transcripts.html

Presented by:

Ben Browder & Claudia Black

With appearances by:

Anthony Simcoe

Virginia Hey

and

Gigi Edgley

Opening clips, approximately one every 4 seconds, to the accompanyment of some serious Farscape music, increasing pace to one about every 2 seconds by the final 'kind words from the critics'...

PREMIERE: An American Astronaut 'jailed' by escaping alien prisoners.

John: "I'm from a planet called 'Earth'... I'm human."

LATP1: Exterior CGI, arrival on the Royal Planet.

TGAS: John removes EV Helmet, the better to view the 'baby'.

Exterior CGI, transport pod approaches planet surface.

DNAMS:CGI, Namtar's 'big ball of wonders'.

TWWW: Interrupted while packing her bags, Aeryn faces John

PREMIERE: D'Argo gives John the 'I won't hurt you 'less you mess with me' eye.

PREMIERE: Moya circles the Commerce Planet, initiating the 'slingshot maneuver'.

PIYW: Trader's Outpost 'shatters'.

CGI, Prowler approaches planet.

FLAX: Aeryn and John suffer from "too much pure oxygen".

Pilot works his console.

DNAMS: Zhaan 'touches' Delvia.

BBBTTF: The Ilanic vessel gets sucked into a singularity.

TGIFA: EXT. CGI, Sykarian's move into the fields of Tannot.

AHR: John glimpses his past, courtesy of curious aliens.

Chiana.

Scorpius.

TOBM: Aeryn shoots some stuff.

PKTG: John keeps the panels apart.

LGM1: EXT. CGI, John & Aeryn arrive on planet in the prowler.

DR: Rygel gives John and Durka a 'blast'.

TGAS: D'Argo kisses 'Lo'laan'.

TTBRC: John takes Aeryn for a ride in the Farscape One... or is the other way around?

TTLG: On Yellow Moya, John tries to 'get a grip'.

LATP2: Zhaan rejoices at Moya's 'reprieve' from the Builders.

TWWW: Aeryn consoles Pilot.

TWWW: Aeryn.

OOTM: CGI, A close call with a Halosian vessel.

TGAS: Moya gives D'Argo a good 'zap' for messin' with her 'stuff'.

WGFA: 'Aeryn' saves the day.

PIYW: D'Argo 'falls' for Chiana.

TTBRC: EXT. CGI, A crippled Farscape module comes in for a landing.

LATP1: Zhaan in full flight.

THM: Crais gets a 'taste' of the chair.

LATP2: EXT CGI, planetary defense grid surrounds a 'hostile' cargo vessel.

Chiana & Rygel

DR: CGI, Another close call, this time with a Nebari vessel.

TOBM: EXT CGI, Transport Pod arrives on planet.

DNAMS: The de-evolution of Namtar.

DR: Moya 'burps', Durka loses.

TOBM: Maldis 'deals' with Aeryn and D'Argo.

PREMIERE: EXT. CGI, Planet surface.

TOBM: Maldis 'deals' with Aeryn and D'Argo.

BBBTTF: John begins a long tradition of 'hittin' the puppet'.

TOBM: Zhaan 'breaks through', to deal with Maldis.

DNAMS: D'Argo tries diplomacy... on Rygel.

DNAMS: EXT CGI, Moya orbits Namtar's planet.

LATP2: CGI/Screen FX, John does a walk on the wild side.

PREMIERE: Moya Starbursts ( and captures my heart ).

CDM: John Crichton, crackin' up...

John: "Whoo! Ha! Have I got your attention now?!"

I'd say that's a "definate yes" as clips end over typical Season 1 scroll and sound fx of the 'Farscape' title, followed by 'stamp' fx of subtitle: UNDRESSED.

END FARSCAPE CLIPS//

Ben Browder, looking incredibly sexy in a single breasted dark blue suit and tie, gorgeously accented by a neon blue shirt, strides toward camera from stage left across the set of 'Command', speaking to us as opening credits roll.

Ben Browder:Hi, my name is Ben Browder and I'd like to welcome you to this special presentation: "Farscape... what the frell is that?". Now, some of you may be aware that Farscape is our attempt to entertain you with something a bit out of the ordinary. But that may be all that you know about us, and that's why we made this special. It's a crash course primer on Farscape. For those of you who don't know the show but who may plan on watching our season premiere, in about, oh... say, ah... 57 minutes. So, I'm coming to you live, at least at the time that we shot this, from one of our sets... in beautiful Sydney, Australia, which is where Farscape is filmed. Grab your pens and pencils and come with me.

Ben, crosses 'Command', to the strategy table, where a large screen color tv perches, showing clips from "Premiere" (episode 1, season 1).

Ben Browder:My characters name is John Crichton. He's an astronaut and he's a test pilot. He was conducting a mission... of his own design, in the Farscape One module.

//RUN CLIPS OF EPISODE 1, SEASON 1: "PREMIERE"

Test flight of Farscape One starts to go wrong, the ride just a 'bit' rough.

John: "Canaveral?!"

Ben Browder:[O.V.] Things went horribly wrong. He gets sucked through a wormhole, dumped in a distant part of the universe, right into the middle of a battle.

Prowler clips the wing of Farscape one, the prowler is sent spinning out of control, smashing to vapor against a nearby asteroid.

John: "Canaveral, I've been hit!"

Ben Browder:[O.V.] And he ends up on a ship...

John first sights Moya.

John: "That's big.... That's really big."

Ben Browder:[O.V.] ...a really, really big, living ship, called Moya.

The Farscape One module is pulled aboard Moya by the 'docking web'.

John: "Oh, hell.... Can anybody hear me? Canaveral?!"

Ben Browder:[O.V.] He soon discovers Moya's populated by a band of escaping prisoners.

John's first alien sighting; Zhaan and D'Argo on Command as attacking Prowlers whiz past the forward portal.

Ben Browder:[O.V.] There's two of them-- make that escaping 'alien' prisoners. I've always wondered what a hero should say when he meets extraterrestrial life-forms.

John sends greetings, to D'Argo & Zhaan who have just noticed his presence.

John: "Hi. My name's John... John Cri--"

John's greeting is cut off by D'Argo's hand as he trottles him, lifting him off his feet.

Ben Browder:[O.V.] Well, that wasn't it. These aliens don't like him. They don't trust him. Well, you'll get the idea.

Locked in a cell on Moya, John meets a certain Hynerian.

Rygel: "I'm Rygel the 16th, Dominar to over six hundred billion people. I don't need to talk to you."

John: "Um, I-I-I, I'm not here to harm you. Hell, I wouldn't know 'how' to harm you."

Rygel: "We can no more trust you than we can trust 'that'."

Rygel gestures to another alien locked in the cell with John.

Ben Browder:[O.V.] "That" is another alien. That, changes everything.

The 'alien' in the cell takes off a large black helmet, revealing a 'human' female. John makes another pre-emptory introduction.

John: "Hi, uh, my name's John Cr--"

Sticking his hand out to shake, she grabs it a proceeds to beat the crap out of him. Tossing him across the room, kicks him in the gut and ends perched on his shoulders, pinning him to the floor.

Aeryn: "What is your rank and regiment? And why are you out of uniform? ... Rank and regiment, now!"

John's speechless, or breathless, or both, looking up at her from between her knees.

Ben Browder:[O.V.] Boy meets girl.

PREMIERE CLIPS END \\  

Ben Browder:... girl kicks boys ass.

Claudia Black:[O.V.] I love my job.

Ben Browder:( nice sexy smile ) Ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful, the talented... Miss Claudia Black.

Ben moves aside, making way for the aforementioned beautiful, extremely talented, actress. Claudia enters frame looking extremely sexy in a beautiful long black skirt and a lacy black blouse, dark hair piled elaborately atop her head.

Claudia Black:Thank you. Hello. I play officer Aeryn Sun, and she is born and bred to be a soldier. The minute this one comes into her life ( indicating Ben, with a tip of her head, frame opens to a two-shot ), she's thrown out of the Peacekeepers.

Ben Browder:Peacekeepers-- those are the bad guys.

Claudia Black:Are they?

Ben Browder:Yes, they are.

Claudia Black:That's debatable.

Ben Browder:No, it's not.

Claudia Black:Let's not talk about it right now.

Ben Browder:No, no. We're gonna talk about D'Argo.

//RUN MISC D'ARGO CLIPS:

Claudia Black:[O.V.] Big guy-- movie trailer voice. ET-- Extra Tentacles.

Close on D'Argo on Moya ( no ep clue ), D'Argo 'stuns' Aeryn ( Family Ties ), D'Argo 'stuns' Zhaan ( Crackers Don't Matter ), D'Argo kicks the crap outta Crais ( Family Ties ), D'Argo in quarters ( no ep clue, nice close on head shot-- tentacles )

Claudia Black:[O.V.] And these two hit it off right from the start.

D'Argo smacks John around ( Crackers Don't Matter ):

John: Get your hands offa me!

D'Argo: ( whack! John goes down. )

On planet-- John and D'Argo 'disagree' ( Till The Blood Runs Clear ):

John: "I have no idea what goes on in that tiny little brain of yours, D'Argo!"

D'Argo: "I have no idea why you do anything that you do!"

John: "Well, catch a clue pal, 'cause I'm tired of stickin' my hand out, only to have you snap at it!"

D'Argo: "Everytime I let down my guard... you disappoint me."

John: "Sorry... I'm only human."

Claudia Black:[O.V.] Well, it didn't happen overnight, but gradually they discovered they had things they could learn from one another. Very mature... important things.

John and D'Argo play a 'mature' game ( Family Ties ):

John: "One, two, three..."

D'Argo: ( laughing ) "Again I win!"

John: "No, I win. Paper wraps rock."

D'Argo: "Oh, paper cannot possibly beat rock."

John: "It does-- paper beats rock."

D'Argo: "Rock rips through paper."

John: "Well, D'Argo, that's not how it works. Paper beats rock."

D'Argo: "It's unrealistic!"

John: "Well, it's the rules!"

Ben Browder:[O.V.] Yeah, but they also learned that they can depend on each other for friendship and moral support.

D'Argo and John take a walk on the wild side-- in space ( Family Ties ).

D'Argo performs 'best man' duties for John ( Look At The Princess, Part 2: I Do, I Think ):

D'Argo: "The time has come for farewells, my friend."

John: "Oh, this is not happening. Just feel free to wake me up any time, D'Argo."

D'Argo: "Well, now I can only speak truth, and that comes as good and bad news."

John: "All right. Give me the bad news first."

D'Argo: "The bad news is that you're married, and you must endure as a statue for 80 cycles in a strange world."

John: "What's the good news?"

D'Argo: "Chiana and I are having 'fantastic' sex."

( John & D'Argo laugh-- John is turned into a statue. )

Claudia Black:[O.V.] Hm. Let's move on to another one of your great friendships-- Zhaan.

Zhaan, 'meditating' in her quarters ( Premiere, or, ah, Locket )

Ben Browder:[O.V.] The bald, blue mama-- Pa'u Zotoh Zhaan. Tenth level Pa'u Priestess.

Zhaan meditating with stones and bells ( Mind The Baby )

Claudia Black:[O.V.] She's spiritual...

Zhaan touching the 'image' of her home, Delvia ( DNA Mad Scientist )

Claudia Black:[O.V.] ...but she can also get... physical.

Pulverizing Maldis with a DRD (Picture If You Will).

Ben Browder:[O.V.] When she's not being...

Zhaan 'kills' Crichton ( Picture If You Will )

Ben Browder:[O.V.] Totally mental.

Zhaan and John do the 'unity thing' ( Rhapsody In Blue ):

Zhaan: "I have always wondered what could 'possibly' go on in there."

John: "Not a lot. ( shrugs ) I'm a guy. Come on, Zhaan... what are you afraid of?"

Zhaan: "Take my head. Our two spirits will pass into each other... until we inhabit a single consciousness.... Too late to be afraid. Move into me."

Claudia Black:[O.V.] This is called 'Unity'-- the melding of two minds.

Ben Browder:[O.V.] And there's one more thing about her.

John discovers that 'one thing' ( Bone To Be Wild ):

John: "You're a plant?"

Zhaan: "Always have been, John. Why, does it bother you?"

John: "No it doesn't... bother me. I just never... suspected-- you're a vegetable?!"

( Zhaan laughs delightedly. )

Ben Browder:[O.V.] Sleek... sexy vegetable.

Zhaan 'reveals all' for a young Tavlek/Tavloid whatever ( Throne For A Loss ).

D'Argo's no fool-- or maybe he is ( Premiere ):

D'Argo: "I've heard of your kinds practices. Your... appetites."

Zhaan: "Such as?"

D'Argo: "I've... heard of something known as the ah... Fourth Sensation."

Zhaan: "I have experienced this... ( sadly ) not lately."

ZHAAN CLIPS END//

//CHIANA CLIPS:

Entree, Chiana ( Durka Returns )

Ben Browder:[O.V.] Her name is Chiana. If we hadn't taken her in, she would have been imprisoned by her own people, the Nebari. That's them; they're gray.

Claudia Black:[O.V.] She's amoral.

Ben Browder:[O.V.] She's underage.

Claudia Black:[O.V.] Sexy.

John gets to know Chi. ( Durka Returns ):

Chiana: "I don't respect authority. I do what I want... when I want to do it."

John: "Did you ever kill anyone?"

Chiana: "No."

John: "Then help me understand the collar and the cuffs."

Chiana: "Among my people you... you conform. You don't do the things I... I did."

John: "What will they do with you now?"

Chiana: "Mental cleansing into a... into an obedient zombie.

( Chi screams and kicks the cell door )

John: "Chiana!"

Chiana: "I'd rather be dead!"

Chiana falls into the jump pit ( Taking The Stone )

Claudia Black:[O.V.] Chiana will try anything once.

Ben Browder:[O.V.] Sometimes she lands on her feet... sometimes she lands on her ass.

To a safe, if not sane, landing ( Taking The Stone ):

John: "Chiana! You did it!"

Chiana: "I did it?!"

John: ( laughing manically )

Chiana: "I did it!"

Claudia Black:[O.V.] But, she has kind of grown on us.

John seeks out a bit of feminine understanding/revenge ( Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss ):

John: "Yeah, I'm goin' down to the planet. You wanna hang?"

Claudia Black:[O.V.] On some... more so than others.

John stumbles on an 'intimate moment' ( Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss ):

Chiana: ( softly ) "Yeah."

Aeryn: ( walking away in disgust ) "That's good."

John: "Cool. Can I come in?"

( Oops, JC stumbles on a private moment between D'Argo and Chiana. )

John: "Oh, oh, Jesus!"

( Stumbling out as quickly as possible. )

John: "Whoa, ho, ho! Bad time! Ah, good-good time, sorry, ah... wrong time!"

( and he BOLTS! )

CHIANA CLIPS END//

//AERYN CLIPS:

Aeryn's in hot water along with the guys ( Premiere ):

Crais: "Exactly how much time have you spent with this human?"

John: "Not a lot. Not much at all."

Crais: "Because, as you know, Peacekeeper High Command has very clear parameters regarding contact with unclassified alien life-forms. You may have very well exceeded those parameters, Officer Sun--"

Aeryn: "No, sir..."

Crais: "--which would make you irreversibly contaminated."

Aeryn: "No, sir, I..."

Crais: "Take them away. Take them all away!"

AERYN CLIPS END//

//AERYN CLIPS:

Aeryn takes out an arch over a fleeing John and D'Argo's head with D'Argo's Qualta Rifle ( "Throne For A Loss" ).

Aeryn blows 'everyone away' with handy pulse rifle ( "Back, and Back, and Back, to the Future" ):

John: "No! ... Oh, God!"

Aeryn takes potshots at John ( "Crackers Don't Matter" ):

Aeryn: "Thank you! So much better!"

Aeryn and John reinact the shootout at the OK Corral ( "Crackers Don't Matter" )

AERYN CLIPS END//

Claudia Black:They generally don't fire at their own shipmates, though.

Ben Browder:Hey, technically, you fired at me first.

Claudia Black:Technically, you said I was fat.

Ben Browder:I said that you were going to be old and fat, that's different.

Claudia Black:Oh, that's even better, isn't it? Don't forget that I have saved your life on more than one occasion.

John, busily 'holding the panels apart', waits impatiently for a save from Aeryn ( "PK Tech Girl" ):

John: "Aeryn!"

( Aeryn runs through the dark corridors of the Zelbinion, big gun slung over shoulder. )

John: "Come on, Aeryn... come on."

( Sheyang melts the door. )

( Sheyang spits a fireball at John. John & Gilina dive for cover. )

John: "Gilina!"

( Aeryn arrives like a heavily armed angel from above. )

Aeryn: "On the ground now!"

( And blows Sheyang to smokey bits. )

Aeryn: "Sorry about the mess."

Ben Browder:[O.V.] And I have helped you with your attitude problem.

AERYN CLIPS END//

//AERYN CLIPS CONTINUE:

John tries to get to know Aeryn a little better, help her with some advice... ( "Exodus From Genesis" ):

John: "We're stuck together... and as long as we are, we might as well be..."

Aeryn: "What? Family? Friends? I want neither."

John: "Well, somebody's got to be there when you need it."

Aeryn: "No offense human... but what could I possibly need from you?"

John: "Oh, I don't know... manners? Personality? Stock tips?"

Aeryn 'grills' Gilina ( "PK Tech Girl" )

Aeryn: "Chin up! Eyes locked!"

Claudia Black:[O.V.] John has no idea what it takes to be a soldier.

John: "Can't you see she's gonna pass out?"

Aeryn: "Clearly you do not understand. She knows exactly who we are and would consider it her duty to lie to us."

John: "Point taken. But if she drops... you're not gonna get your answers."

Aeryn: "This is my world, John... don't interfere."

Ben Browder:[O.V.] Little Miss Tough Chick of the Universe.

Claudia Black:[O.V.] That's me.

AERYN CLIPS END//

Ben Browder:But things are different now.

Claudia Black:How so?

Ben Browder:Well... they've kissed.

Claudia Black:So what?

Ben Browder:So, they're in love.

Claudia Black:Have you forgotten how it ended?

Ben Browder:Oh, no, no, no. See, you're getting ahead of yourself. Let's talk about the relationship.

Claudia Black:No one wants to talk about the relationship except to you. I think what people really want to know about is all the...

Ben Browder:Cool things.

Claudia Black:Exactly.

CLAUDIA & BEN SIMULTANEOUSLY:Cue the cool stuff.

[ Well, according to cc:, that's what they were supposed to say; actually, Ben says "Cue the cool things", and Claud says, "Cue the cool stuff." I love it when he messes up, hehe. ]

//COOL STUFF CLIPS:

1:25 minutes of miscellaneous "Cool Stuff" Clips, about one every 4 seconds.

IDB's try to enter Moya ( Through The Looking Glass )

Br'nee's 'death' ( Bone To Be Wild )

John: "What the hell am I looking at?"

John explores Moya's subpassage to the birthing chamber ( They've Got A Secret )

Alien bounty hunter with 'glowing eyes' ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )

Sand dweller ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )

Aeryn 'blows away' Maldis' psychic 'Trader' ( Picture if You Will )

Chi in 'Clan' drag ( Taking The Stone )

DRD Showdown ( They've Got A Secret )

Map Crystal shatters ( DNA Mad Scientist )

Homecoming by four weapon packin pissed off crewmates ( Family Ties )

John takes John back into the orb ( My Three Crichtons )

Gahv ( Won't Get Fooled Again )

Parasite Rygel ( Beware Of Dog )

John blows Gahv away ( Won't Get Fooled Again )

Showdown on the Zelbinion ( PK Tech Girl )

John: "They spit fire? How come nobody tells me they spit fire?!"

Sheyang takes a fireball shot at Aeryn ( PK Tech Girl )

Vorc transforms ( Beware Of Dog )

Close on Plakavoid ( The Ugly Truth )

Natira ( Liars, Guns & Money Trilogy )

Chiana fends off the Metallites ( Liars, Guns & Money, Part 2: With Friends Like These )

D'Argo gets a look at a Calcivore, up close ( Bone To Be Wild )

M'Lee: "I must eat!"

Rygel expresses his distaste for John ( Premiere )

D'Argo 'stuns' John ( Premiere )

John: "What is the 'matter'... with you people?!"

Tavlek withdrawal symptoms ( Throne For A Loss )

Snow White ( Thank God It's Friday, Again )

Vocarian Blood Tracker ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )

The Hand Of Friendship joins Crais with Talyn ( Mind The Baby )

Stark saves John ( The Hidden Memory )

Cool background alien ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )

Sand Dwellers ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )

Blood Tracker ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )

DRD Search ( Beware of Dog )

Zhaan 'disappears' ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )

Matala gets hers ( Back, and Back, and Back, To The Future )

Countdown to a close call ( PK Tech Girl )

Pilot: "Twenty..."

John: "...baby, baby, baby"

Pilot: "Ten..."

Aeryn: "Hurry!"

Pilot: "Five..."

Gilina: "Got it!"

John: "Got it!"

Alien experiment ( DNA Mad Scientist )

Chiana ( unknown ep )

Alien experiment (DNA Mad Scientist )

The Penultimate Moment: D'Argo's version ( The Ugly Truth )

Tavlek confrontation, on planet ( Throne For A Loss )

DNA reversal of fortune ( DNA Mad Scientist )

Aeryn and Metalla go at it ( Back, and Back, and Back, To The Future )

Alien worm therapy ( Thank God It's Friday, Again. )

Zhaan and Stark rock our world in Unity ( The Locket )

Zhaan gives John a lil kiss ( Premiere )

Alien sex, Natira and Scorpius ( Liars, Guns & Money )

Zhaan 'shines' on D'Argo ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )

John frolics with Jena ( Look At The Princess, Part 3: The Maltese Crichton )

Get's close to Loranna ( Rhapsody In Blue )

D'Argo kisses 'Lolaan' ( They've Got A Secret )

John gets a kiss from a stranger ( Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss )

Natira shows her 'claws' ( Liars, Guns & Money, Part 3: Plan B )

Scorpy pops his cork ( Liars, Guns & Money )

John & Gilina 'bond' ( PK Tech Girl )

Aeryn practices dead lifting ( PK Tech Girl )

Aeryn: "Sorry, for interrupting."

Following Tahleen into the shrine ( Rhapsody In Blue )

John works out a problem ( They've Got A Secret )

John embraces his daughter ( Look At The Princess, Part 3: The Maltese Crichton )

Zhaan ( ep unknown )

Durka ( PK Tech Girl )

Royal Planet, the girls at the lake ( Look At The Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss )

John searches for Chiana ( Durka Returns )

Aeryn experiment ( DNA Mad Scientist )

The jump pit ( Taking The Stone )

Aeryn takes a shot at Namtar ( DNA Mad Scientist )

Bounty Hunter madness ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )

D'Argo gets 'stunned' ( Till The Blood Runs Clear )

John 'feeds the worm' ( Thank God It's Friday, Again )

Close up on Luxan Hyper Rage ( Thank God It's Friday, Again. )

Moya comes in for a 'landing' ( I, E.T. )

Bekhesh ( Throne For A Loss )

Moya initiates Starburst ( ep unknown )

Sheyang vessel takes a shot ( PK Tech Girl )

Pilot on a clamshell ( ep unknown )

Teurac on main screen ( PK Tech Girl )

Sheyangs Fire missles ( PK Tech Girl )

Zhaan and Liko take on Maldis ( That Old Black Magic )

Maldis tries to take out John ( That Old Black Magic )

Maldis gets 'disbursed' ( That Old Black Magic )

Zhaan takes Maldis from behind ( That Old Black Magic )

John records a message to a friend ( That Old Black Magic )

John gets 'sucked' into Maldis' realm ( That Old Black Magic )

Crais 'misses' Maldis ( That Old Black Magic )

Maldis morphs ( That Old Black Magic )

Moya's near miss with a Nebari vessel ( Durka Returns )

( No idea )

Maurauder ( Exodus From Genesis )

Moya kicks Durka out ( Durka Returns )

( Unknown planetscape )

Maldis 'handles' D'Argo and Aeryn ( That Old Black Magic )

Hittin' the puppet ( Back, and Back, and Back, to the Future )

Zhaan kicks Maldis butt ( That Old Black Magic )

D'Argo and Rygel confer ( DNA Mad Scientist )

Moya orbits an outpost ( DNA Mad Scientist )

Namtar devolved ( DNA Mad Scientist )

In the module, upclose and personal, with a Tavlek ( Liars, Guns & Money, Part 2: With Friends Like These )

John: "You know... flossing could help you with that gingivitis."

END COOL STUFF CLIPS//

A change of venue on return from commercial break. Ben and Claudia stand inside Pilot's Den on a darknened sound stage. As Ben begins speaking, the lights 'do not' come up.

Ben Browder:And as you can tell by the critics kind words, we're obviously struck a chord with-- lights?

Claudia Black:Oh, pilot, the lights-- up.

Ben Browder:Lights! Pilot, we're on TV.

Lights come up, close on Pilot, who does 'not' look too good on video.

PILOT:Oh, I can't remember what you wanted me to say.

Ben Browder:Tell them about Moya.

PILOT:Ah, well, ah... she's a Leviathan, ah... biomechanoid... ah...

Ben Browder:What Pilot's trying to say is that Moya is half mechanical, half biological, and she's a beautiful ship. Why don't we show them some clips?

PILOT:Yes, that would be easier.

Exterior CGIs of Moya surfin' the cosmos...

Claudia Black:[O.V.] Leviathans are peaceful beasts of burden. They're designed without weapons.

//RUN 'PILOT' CLIPS:

Ben Browder:[O.V.] Each Leviathan has a Pilot aboard as their lifetime navigator and caretaker. Ours is called, "Pilot".

Pilot: [O.V. dialogue from DNA Mad Scientist on clip from "Out of Their Minds"] "When one of my species is bonded to a Leviathan, we give our lives to the service of others. Ship first. Then those who travel aboard her."

Pilot continues to explain his purpose to John ( DNA Mad Scientist )

John: "No matter what those aboard do to you?"

Pilot: "My species is incapable of space flight on our own. If we wish to journey beyond our home planet, this... is the tradeoff we make... for the chance to see the galaxy. I consider it... a perfectly equitable arrangement."

END PILOT CLIPS//

//RUN PILOT CLIPS:

Pilot freaks! "The Way We Weren't"

D'Argo: "Pilot!"

Aeryn: "John."

( Pilot slams D'Argo and John to the deck with one claw while throttling Aeryn with another, then activating a control, vents the chamber)

END PILOT CLIPS//

Moya gives birth to Talyn ( The Hidden Memory )

Claudia Black:[O.V.] Moya gave birth to a baby named Talyn. It turned out to be a hybrid - part Leviathan, part Peacekeeper warship.

Ben Browder:[O.V.] It was not an easy birth.

Chiana flees the explosion in the birthing chamber.

Pilot: "The offsprings free. It's free!"

Chiana: "How's Moya?"

Pilot: "She's okay. We're okay!"

Pilot: "Look."

Chiana: "That's Moya's child?"

Rygel: "But it's covered in weapons."

Ben Browder:[O.V.] That's right kids, the Peacekeepers had designed a Leviathan gunship, emphasis on "gun".

Talyn's Main Gun rises from it's turret ( The Ugly Truth ):

Chiana: "What's Talyn doing?"

Claudia Black:[O.V.] Young boy... dangerous toy.

( Talyn blows away the Plokavian vessel with one shot. Maybe they should'a named him 'Jessie'? )

TALYN CLIPS END//

Claudia Black:So, basically Talyn is a confused kid in need of some guidance.

Ben Browder:Unfortunately, what he got was Captain Bialar Crais, renegade Peacekeeper.

 

Aeryn's version of events ( "The Ugly Truth" ):

Aeryn: "He's taking over Talyn!"

Crais: "Leave my ship now!"

Aeryn: "We have to stay and explain is to the Plokavian authorities!"

John: "No, Aeryn, we have to leave-- now!"

Aeryn: "I can't let you do this!"

Crais: "Go!"

Talyn maneuvers deeper into the asteroid field ( "Family Ties" )

Zhaan: "Talyn is not mature enough to Starburst! If you attempt this, you will damage him! You may die!"

Crais: "Thank you, Priest, but I know that. We'll be fine... where no one can follow us. You... or the Peacekeepers."

Aeryn: "Crais, you listen to me, now! You stop what you're doing and you leave the ship, now!"

Crais: "Officer Sun... if by some strange quirk we manage to encounter each other again, I hope that our relationship... away from the Peacekeepers... will be a much... different one next time."

Aeryn: "You cannot take a child from it's mother!"

Crais: "You forget... it was done to me... and it was done to you. Goodbye, Officer Sun."

Talyn starbursts ( "The Ugly Truth" ):

Pilot: "Talyn's going into Starburst!"

Claudia Black:[O.V.] Banished by the Peacekeepers.

Claudia Black:...and with nowhere else to go, Crais fled aboard Talyn. But over time he's proven to be an ally... or so Aeryn thinks.

Ben Browder:Why do you make it sound like Aeryn likes Crais?

Claudia Black:There's a lot of history between them. It's a very complex relationship.

Ben Browder:Relationship. No, they don't have a relationship. Crichton and Aeryn have a relationship, and that's what we're supposed to be talkin' about.

Claudia Black:All right. Fine. Over time Crichton and Aeryn developed a very solid working partnership.

 

//RUN JOHN & AERYN CLIPS:

Cleaning up a little problem ( "Beware of Dog" )

John: "Cover me!"

John & Aeryn: ( simultaneously ) "Sorry about the mess."

END JOHN & AERYN CLIPS//

//RUN JOHN & AERYN CLIPS:

Working out another strange 'erp' custom. ( "PK Tech Girl" )

John: "Haven't you ever just clicked with a guy?"

Aeryn: "What?! 'Clicked'?!"

John: "Yeah, you know... found a guy attractive."

Aeryn: "Yes, but it... I didn't let it-- In the beginning I found you... interesting."

END JOHN & AERYN CLIPS//

//RUN JOHN & AERYN CLIPS:

Hot and bothered close encounters ( "The Flax" )

John: "Whoa! You okay?"

Aeryn: "Yes, you?"

John: "Yeah, just... peachy."

Aeryn: ( smiling ) "You comfortable? Can I get you a pillow?"

END JOHN & AERYN CLIPS//

//RUN JOHN & AERYN CLIPS:

Hot and steamy close encounters in the Farscape module ( "Look at the Princess, Part 1: A Kiss Is But A Kiss" )

Aeryn: "Would you like... to learn how to do this, or are you content to continually display your ineptitude."

John: "My ineptitude? You mean my improvisation, the kind that bails your sorry milita-- I'm sorry ( laughs ) I'm sorry... what's that smell?"

( John gently buries his face into Aeryn's hair at the base of her neck, inhaling ... appreciatively ) -- THE single sexiest scene I've yet encountered on television unfolds here --

Aeryn: ( tensing ) Wh-what?

John: Your hair... it smells--

Aeryn: Zhaan gave me something.

John: All right... it smells good... I like it.

( probably the combination of his husky voice and the way he nuzzles her hair is what makes it for me... * sigh * )

Aeryn: ( relaxing ) Well, it's not for you to like.

John: Oh. Then... what's it for?

Aeryn: For me to like.

John: And you don't like... that I like it?

Aeryn: ( pausing ) Personal indulgences can fracture a small crew.

John: I would never tell them... that you scented your hair.

( And.... they kiss. * sigh * )

Aeryn: Mm... no!

( And... Aeryn bolts! )

John: What? Aeryn... Aeryn, no!

Aeryn: No... no!

John: Aeryn, wait!

Aeryn: I will not be a slave to your hormones!

John: My hormones! Hey, I was lips, you were tongue!

END JOHN & AERYN CLIPS//

//RUN SCORPIUS CLIPS:

PK Skipper changes out the 'rod' ( "Bone To Be Wild" )

Scorpius interrogates John in the Aurora Chair ( "Nerve" ):

Scorpius: "What species are you? And who are you working for?"

John: "Get... stuffed."

Scorpy gives the 'go ahead' to PK Barbie.

John: "No... please."

END SCORPIUS CLIPS//

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